Self-Awareness, Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence; and Self-Management of Emotion
Aji
Nur Hakim
Self-awareness,
self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-management of emotion are some of the
topic in psychology that mostly related to students especially in the
classroom. Those four “self” theories are has to be known by all of people, no
exception for teachers. Instead, teachers are the most recently person who
interact with students. That’s why, teacher must know what the students feel and act on.
What are actually self-awareness, self-esteem, self-confidence, and
self-management of emotions? What is the relation between those theories?
The first
discussion is about self-awareness. According to LeFrancois (in Baylor University’s
Community Mentoring for Adolescent Development, n.d.), self-awareness are
included self-esteem, self-concept, and self-actualization; which is the view
of individuals, the concept that individuals have, and the process of act as
individuals.
Self-awareness
itself usually related to human being or LeFrançois (in Baylor University’s Community Mentoring for
Adolescent Development, n.d.)
says emotional well-being; which has means ability to comfort self or control
self and relate others. The characteristics of emotional well-being according
to LeFrançois,
can be shown as follows:
1.
I feel
comfortable with myself.
2.
I am not
overwhelmed by my emotions.
3.
I can take
life’s disappointments.
4.
I can accept my
shortcomings.
5.
I have
self-respect. I can laugh at myself.
6.
I feel good
about the relationships I hold with other people.
7.
I am able to
give love and to consider the feelings of others.
8.
I respect the
differences I find in other people.
9.
I feel a sense
of responsibility to others.
10. I am able to meet the demands of my life.
11. I welcome new experiences and new ideas.
12. I set realistic goals for myself.
13. I am able to think for myself and make my own
decisions.
14. I put my best effort into everything that I do.
If someone has those kind of emotional well-being,
they will definitely have good awareness not only doing good on them selves,
but also can control the well-being of others. Self-awareness itself has
related to self-esteem, as LeFrançois mentioned before. According to LeFrançois
(1996), the component of self-esteem cover self-image (perspective of
ourselves), ideal-self (eagerness of ourselves want to), and Pygmalion-self (perspective
others to us).
Students’ self-esteem can clearly be seen in the
classroom of what they act on, such as when students active or curious about
something and makes variety of contacts, means students have high self-esteem;
but, if students passive, avoid new experience, and limited contact, they
include students who have low self-esteem. (LeFrançois, 1996).
Even self-esteem of one’s is low; there are ways to
increase it. As LeFrançois (1996) theory that says the three ways to increase
self-esteem are:
a.
Listen self-talk
Self-talk is one way to increase self-esteem. People
can start to talk something positive to their selves, so that they can motivate
to be better person.
b.
Recognize
accomplishment
Make the list of some accomplishment to build the
sense of self-worth.
c.
Be assertive
Communicate with others with respect and showing what
you want.
d.
Be tolerant
Don’t criticize other, don’t afraid to make a mistake,
do tolerant to others especially yourself.
e.
Build a support
system
Spending time to people who care about you is also a
way to increase self-esteem
The next “self” theory is self-management of emotions.
Actually, self-management comes from a core, which is emotional intelligence. “Emotional
intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage
emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize
with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.” (Segal & Smith, 2014).
Emotional intelligence itself includes three kinds of
attribute: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship
management. Self-management of emotion is an ability to control own feeling,
manage the emotion, and be mixed with others to adapt. If the emotion can not
be distributed, it will affect someone’s psychology. ”If you are
unable to understand and manage your emotions, you’ll also be open to mood
swings, while an inability to form strong relationships can leave you feeling
lonely and isolated.” (Segal & Smith, 2014)
It is important to teacher especially to care about
students, can start to learn about those “self” theories. All of the theory is
important, and between one to other is connected. Like self-awareness which is
also include self-esteem.
One way that can
challenge yourself to know your self-awareness is to answer this question:
1.
Did the people who know me is myself?
2.
Mention the 3 adjective of yourself!
3.
What do you like about yourself?
4.
What is the purpose of your life?
Of course the
answer of each people is different. For me, I have my own answer regarding to
that. First, people who know me is myself. Yes, absolutely. People who know me
must be myself. Who else that can know you beside yourself? Even people is know
you, the most know what you are, is yourself. Second, my three adjective of
myself are quite person, moody, and discipline. I kind of quite person, when I
get along with my friends or people I close with, I turn to a cherry person. People
who do not know me, might think that I am arrogant, whereas actually I will be
cherry person when people start to know me. I am kind of moody person. For
example, I can change my happy mood exactly to be bored in one minute. I am
kind of discipline person. I never do the assignment late than submission date.
I always do the task given to me. I never late to come to school or campus, and
I hate watching people who usually late to come.
Third, the most
I like about myself is I do not care what people judge about me, whenever they
say bad things about me, or critics me, I do not care. I think that people
doing unimportant thing by judging or gossiping me behind. Forth, my purpose of
living is to make people happy. I want people around me, especially my parents,
can proud of me and smile for me. I will do anything to make them proud. I want
since my present in this world, I can be useful person. That’s why I do not
care about people thinking. I will do what I want and like to do.
Self-esteem and
self-management of emotion actually can be built from now. Like the theory said
that there are ways to increase those. Some of fact in the society, self-esteem
exists since someone born. It might change, but the origin of the trait already
exists and will remain there as long as we live. It might change, but there is
some long-life process to build and become new person. When people have low self-esteem,
people can hurt their selves because they might not proud of their selves and
blaming their selves and (maybe) others. No wonder if teacher or anyone have to
learn many things include how to treat students who has low self-esteem.
No different
from self-esteem, emotion also can be managed from one’s individual. Emotion
itself not only includes sad, anger, or other bad temper; but also happiness,
cheerful, and other good temper. Even for good temper, it should be manage. Remember,
something exaggeration is not good, also if the temper uncontrolled, it will be
terrible for physical and spiritual.
As long as
people aware to their selves, proud of their selves, and manage the emotion
well; they are guaranteed to be better person. If people not yet achieve this
level, people should learn more how to control and increase the level.
Sources:
Baylor University’s Community Mentoring for Adolescent Development.
(n.d.). Concepts of self-awareness.
Retrieved from http://www.mentoring.org/donwolads/mentoring_435.pdf
Centre for
Clinical Interventions. (n.d.). Self-management. Retrieved from http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/BB-9-Self-Management.pdf
Segal, J., &
Smith, M. (2014). Emotional intelligence (EQ). Retrieved from http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq5_raising_emotional_intelligence.htm
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